On the coffee table, Myra and Mr. Norton were both busy. Their cinnamon dolce coffee was almost ready to be served. Norton picked a piece of paper, wrote something, folded it, and handed it over to Myra.
“Here’s something for you child” Norton whispered gently.
Myra opened the note gently “Eudaimonia” she read out loud. A sense of curiosity dwelled within her. She knew what the term meant however the way it was presented, she was still processing the purpose of the note.
“Eudaimonia as in happiness, right Mr. Norton?”
“Right Myra. This term is vast! Times can be tough and when we are to deal with the rough sea, these aspects are what make it easy to handle. Moreover Myra you are young and ambitious. There are so many things to be explored and before you take a leap of faith into a larger world I simply want to share the significance of Eudaimonia so that you are well prepared for what’s coming your way, be it good and bad both”
With Norton, Myra always explored the new edges of wisdom.
“Mr. Norton life keeps testing you right? You never know when you might start surfing the rough wave. One second you are surfing and the other you are under it, gasping for breath. Amidst all this, the term happiness stands very subjective to one’s perspective. Some understand it, get back and start surfing but the ones who don't, drown in their insecurities and doubts. Honestly, Mr. Norton, I don't give up, I get back but there are times when life gets so unfair that you don't feel like getting up rather it feels better to be underwater and to suffer”
“Suffer?? Myra suffering is a choice! Do you know what shapes our life around us? Our Inner self. The root of misery stems from within us hence it’s important to first peek within. Do you know what else stems from within us? Happiness, as stoics would say, Eudaimonia. I strongly believe in their philosophy Myra. Stoicism is a 2000-year-old philosophy. It’s not that easy to comprehend but it’s a bittersweet solution to keep us protected and at the same time integrated from within. This philosophy directs us to be more resilient. It makes you virtuous. It makes you better.
Myra, situations get terrible not because they are negative but because of the way we deal with them. Life is going to be unfair to you, it’s not a fairy tale. Things are going to be difficult, hard. Rather than thinking about why it happened and still grieving about the anger, you should be ready for such experiences. You need to learn a way to deal with them. These problems stem from one root and that is our incapability to deal with such terrible situations” Norton posed.
“It’s easier said than done right? I’ve tried letting go. The more you want to let go, the more it backfires. Time acts as fuel. Everything starts bugging and all you know is you resent yourself and anger wells up within. You can't change the world around you and as long as you have invested feelings in your surroundings, the hurt is bound to be there” Myra was keen on getting her answers. For her, happiness was abstract to understand and she’d travel extents of her mind to define it in words.
“Absolutely child this is easier said than done. But don't you think this difficulty itself is the true thrill. As they say “Not all storms come to disrupt your life, some come to clear the path.”
There are certain things which you can control however there are certain other things which you can’t. The ones you can’t be dealt with letting go. Letting go is an art you see. The philosophy of stoicism has helped me through my thick and thin, highs and lows, and above all, I could persist myself strongly through rough tides because of this. It matters how strongly you hold yourself intact. It is easy for us to fall into the trap of miseries and the depths it makes us travel is beyond imagination. One of the philosophers who was renowned in his work towards stoicism was Epictetus. He was a slave and he saw the worst of miseries in his life. He is not known for the miseries he went through but how he dealt with them. In return, he offered the world power of stoicism. These principles have a strong foundation, Myra. Again, it matters what you can control and what you can’t. And what you cannot, you should let go. A perception to view things objectively is the need of the hour. With this, you get the strength to accept the true nature of everything and live by it without disappointing yourself with broken expectations.” Norton strongly concluded.
Myra was engrossed in the conversation. She was quiet and contemplative. The dichotomy between her thoughts and what Norton was saying seemed to narrow.
“You cannot rely on a single source for everything. See you need to have multiple sources of joy. When misery stems in one, you can rely on others. When work is turning terrible you can fall on to your hobbies, or your family. You can take up a dance class or share a small trek with a community. See diversity plays a big role. The significance of it is boundless and when you have these multiple sources, you get your way out to deal with one aspect of miseries. Never forget, misery stems from within. The way Seneca puts this- Man is not worried by real problems as by his imagined anxieties about real problems.
Myra, you need to start internalising these key principles in your everyday conduct. I realised this late in my life, but it's time to embrace this piece of wisdom. Life doesn’t care what you want it will keep giving you things you need. Lots of moments will come your way, but if you let these experiences shape you then it won't take long for you to be suppressed by overwhelming pain. doubts and even anxieties. What stands prominent is how you develop the capability to derive happiness out of all this.”
“Hmm bravery, good you mentioned that word. Is it easy to be brave? To deal with situations and encourage oneself to be calm even in the worst situations? I understand the point you are making Mr. Norton however I still want to dig deep into “How”. That’s where my true struggles have resided”
“ Myra, when you are dealing with any situation if you already make peace with the worst possibility you automatically get the courage to come to terms with its outcomes. Marcus Aurelius said, “that very little is needed to make a healthy life.”
Trust me it's a bittersweet solution what we are talking about but the one who learns it lives a life with Eudaimonia. Child do you know why anger comes into the picture? That's because we idealize our thoughts into beautiful pictures and at times lose the traction with what reality looks like. So when the reality hits you back with its ugly side, you stumble handling it. This war between reality and hope brings a big deal of disappointment. Hence it’s said to control what you can. Detach from what you can't control, let it go. Remember it's about time you turn the circumstances in your favor by staying put to yourself”
It's rightly said that one good conversation can shift the direction of change forever. This was one of those for Myra.
“Myra the emphasis still stays on how your life is your responsibility. Every situation out there is your teacher if you let it be, it’s preparing you for better and for worse. This is bittersweet, but this is what will shape you” Norton concluded with a smile.
